What an Expensive Jewish Education Gets You

If you ask my boys, they will tell you that they learn English and Hebrew in school.  However, there seems to be a little confusion:

BK1:  Uno, Dos, Tres, Quatro…

MG: Very Good, BK1.

BK1:  That’s French.

Me: Nope.  In French it’s Une, Deux, Trois…  That’s Spanish.

BK2: I speak French, too!  Uno, Dos, Cinqo…

Me:  Ok, Echad, Sheteim, Shalosh….

BK1:  THAT’s French.

MG: Hebrew.

BK2:  Yeah, French!


We are at Ima2Seven’s house.  For some reason that I must assume was a combination of good parenting and some Sababah during the original decision making process, the usual occupants are on a weekend camping trip, and we have taken over the Ima2Seven Inn.  I am explaining the Rules of the Trampoline to the BKs, but BK1 is demonstrating his superior knowledge and understanding of the universe, as only an almost-5-year-old can.

BK1:  I’m not listening to you.

Me: Fine.  You don’t have to go on.

BK2:  I’m not listening to you, or to BK1.  I’m only going to listen to HaShem. (Strikes a dramatic pose pointing heavenward, eyes aloft).

Me:  OOOOkay.  And what does HaShem tell you to do?

BK2:  Listen to my Immah.

And Hey, by the way, Ima2Seven, I just wanted to publicly thank you for affording us a wonderful, air-conditioned Shabbos, which is apparently a little more than what you got…


BK: Immah, why did HaShem invent tushies?

Me:  What an interesting question for the Rabbi.


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